Holidays are not always a festive time for some people. In fact, a lot of people are triggered and become depressed, stressed, and experience severe anxiety during this time of year. Extreme cases often lead to…Suicide. I know…I know…no one wants to address suicide for obvious reasons, especially me. I have had a Beloved One who chose that road and without explanation, left this life. Shortly after that, another long-time classmate/fellow actor chose the same path. I miss them both dearly, which inspired me to finally complete this sensitive piece.
I strive to care and keep the ones I love close, if I can. I had to learn to let go of the outcome of suicide because some things are out of my hands and control. Trust me, I have tried my best to understand the choices made, as well as the minds of those who live in constant peril and darkness. We can only do so much. The rest I had to release with Love.
I was asked to write this piece many moons ago. I must have written a dozen drafts, tossing each one out over and over, before this final one. There are so many levels to this topic that I was left in a state of perpetual helplessness to actually address it. I decided to proceed through the many angles of suicide, finding it impossible to bring justice with only one simple answer. I don’t claim to know everything. I am only coming from a perspective of someone who has experienced the aftermath of the unthinkable, witnessing the effects on the children, parents, family, and friends who have to endure life after death. In the end, we all need and want something to hold on to; something or someone to blame for the unknowns life throws at us. We want to figure out the causes and effects, and the deeper meanings of life.
For me, I needed to break it down to a simple form. What are the types and simple definitions behind suicide?
- Suicide is the result of lethal, intentional self-harm.
- Self-harm is the self-inflicted injury not associated with an implicit or explicit intent to die.
- Suicidal behavior is the behavior ranging from low-risk threats to ideation to attempt and ultimately…suicide.
- Suicidal Attempt is associated with a person’s intent to die, regardless of what chosen method to actually cause the death.
- Suicidal Ideation is the thoughts with death, some self-inflicted.
When you combine suicidal ideation, intent, and plan…then the act will ultimately occur.
Of the many facets of suicide and beliefs, mental illness continues to lead the charge for the cause of one taking their own life. Depression, Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depression), Schizophrenia, PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Substance Abuse Disorders, as well as being a part of the LGBTQ Community and other groups suffering discrimination are some of the causes of suicide; but suicide itself is not a mental disorder.
There is also the pressure of expectations – of feeling not enough as a person, living paycheck-to-paycheck, being unemployed, being alone, being homeless, suffering abuse, neglect, abandonment, having fears, lack of love, you name it! The list goes on and on.
Suicide can also be the result of various social, cultural, religious and socio-economic factors which are found in every culture.
Some religious folks immediately condemn, judge, and their interpretation is that one will go to “hell” for suicide. I don’t subscribe to that at all. C’mon now. “Hell” was what said persons were already experiencing on earth…so, that cannot be it. So, now what? Well, “Heaven” is what we make here on earth. This life is about the choices we make. Some choices are wise, some are simply not.
Esoteric and Ancient Sciences address the notion that we are so powerful that we can choose how we want to return to the essence – that we return to Source Energy and that a Soul Contract was made before we chose to reincarnate into this 3-dimensional life. Here, suicide is not seen as a negative. The reasons were for a greater and higher purpose, such as to give strength, bring compassion and understanding back into our lives, when our daily living makes us sometimes forget the blessings of one another. This had to fit somewhere in that equation. Additionally, there is no so-called “death”. Returning to the essence is not bad at all, because the essence is still Life. Another aspect of this is that our physical bodies simply die, but our energy vibrates into another dimension, for we are multi-dimensional beings.
In Indigenous/Original Societies, it is the Circle of Life: it is Nature’s way of giving and taking life back to Mother Earth, that our Universe is Sacred and Divine, representing the infinite nature of Energy, meaning if something dies, it simply gives new life to another.
What to do? I will strive to offer a few solutions because I am not the type to address a problem and not reach for some sort of resolution. First, how about we treat each other with simple kindness – all living things, beings, and creatures. Is it so hard to be kind? Next, practice Compassionate Action – common courtesy, respecting one another as we share this planet together. Let’s become more pro-active in expressing compassion, understanding one another better, empathizing in each other’s journey and life struggles, as well as celebrating each other’s joys and triumphs. There is only fear and love, the two most powerful energies in this universe which drive people crazy or to divinity, so constantly choose love. Loving is a verb, a little goes a long way: a smile, a hug, a kind word or gesture. Forgiveness is powerful – first with ourselves, then it trickles over to others. I am constantly working on this. Believe me, it is a process to peace, love, and happiness.
Everything begins and ends with ourselves. When I went through losing my “BigSis”, I dreamt of her for a whole year. It happened a week before my birthday in 2010. Every year, it’s tough, and never gets easier. You just learn to live with it. Her friends became my friends, and her two sons are like my nephews from afar. It really took a village, to get through those times, especially in the first few years.
All we have is each other so check on your loved ones, even the strong friend who never seems to have a bad day. It’s these little things that truly impact our world towards the joy we all desire. There are enough fear-based projections to last many lifetimes and its infinite variations. Let’s consciously strive to become better and return to our Divine Selves every single day. We may not be able to control what others choose to do in the end, at the end of the day; but maybe…just maybe we can inspire, influence, remind one another of our worth, that it is still going to be okay regardless of whom or what, and we are in this together….Let’s Give Flowers to the Living!
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
Contributed by Margery S. Marcelino